Mom Challenge....Day 9

Day 9: Picture yourself at your child's age. Try to remember how you felt. 

This wasn't too easy, except for with Skylar, since she's older and I can remember being 10. It's a little different though because we have such a different upbringing....she's the oldest of the family and I'm the youngest. I started really thinking about how the last few years have been full of such trials for our family and how even though we haven't shared everything with Skylar, there is so much that she's had to be aware of at such a young age. In that way we are similar. When I thought about when I was 10 I realized that I was going through some major family trials too. One of them was my dad going through having a brain tumor removed. That was a very scary thing for me. I'm sure I was sheltered from a lot of the things going on because I was the youngest, but it was a hard time in my life, not knowing if my dad was going to be okay and not knowing what the future held for our family. I think Skylar must feel the same with the things we're going through. I'm sure it's very scary for her. With Skylar being the oldest, she tends to take on a lot of responsibility for the other kids when we're having a hard time, even if she's not aware of everything going on. She's pretty receptive and inquisitive by nature, so keeping things from her is almost a challenge.

   I remember when we told Skylar that we were pregnant with Reese. The other kids were really excited. Skylar was really hesitant. She smiled and said she was happy, but she was worried. She knows that just because someone is pregnant it doesn't mean that the baby will live. That's a sad reality for my kids. She really struggled when Reese died, but she also stepped up and helped out a lot when I couldn't. Sometimes I feel so guilty knowing that she's had to shoulder the burden of responsibility, but I also see how much she's growing into this amazing girl and thinking outside of herself. I know that these trials will help contribute to the person she will become and the compassion she's learning will strengthen her character. Having been through challenges myself when I was young, I know that they shaped who I am. I learned many valuable lessons and I know that Skylar will too.