Day 27 (late): A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Of course the deceased person I'd like to talk to most would be Gabriel. What I wouldn't do for just a moment with him. A year ago I would have answered this with my sister, Mary Gwen, who was also stillborn. I've always wished that I could have known her. I've always felt I have, in a way. I've always thought that if she was here, we'd be very close, for some reason. I've always been the one in the family to remember her. Maybe she's been by my side all these years and especially now, helping me to prepare for the hardest thing I've had to go through in losing my own little Gabe before he was born. I certainly know it's possible....Jeffrey R. Holland taught:

"On occasions, global or personal, we may feel we are distanced from God, shut out from heaven, lost, alone in dark and dreary places. Often enough that distress can be of our own making, but even then the Father of us all is watching and assisting. And always there are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal.

Usually such beings are not seen. Sometimes they are. But seen or unseen they are always near. Sometimes their assignments are very grand and have significance for the whole world. Sometimes the messages are more private. Occasionally the angelic purpose is to warn. But most often it is to comfort, to provide some form of merciful attention, guidance in difficult times.”

Oh, wouldn't it be so much easier if the veil was a little bit thinner? But I guess this isn't supposed to be easy. Knowing that they are so close certainly does bring me peace. I wish I was able to talk to both Mary Gwen and Gabriel and get to know them instead of missing them so much without ever getting a moment with either alive on this earth. That's one of the hardest parts of this baby loss thing. When most people go through a loss of a loved one they have many memories to help them get through it. Those memories are a treasure for them. They are able to think back on good times and be thankful for all of those moments. Well, I am missing and have missed so many of those moments. I'm so thankful for my eternal perspective though. I'm so thankful that those moments we've lost on this earth will be made whole in the next.

I'm missing and loving both of you, Mary Gwen and Gabriel, every single day. I know you both know that and I know you are by my side at times. I can't wait until I can actually see you and hold you in my arms again.