My Dear Grandma Henricksen

This morning my sweet grandma, Mary Helen Allen Henricksen, returned home to live with our Heavenly Father. It is such a bittersweet thing to have her gone but to also know that she is at peace. She lived a most wonderful long life to the age of 96 1/2 and I am so thankful for the amount of time that I have been given to have her be such an important part of mine. Most of the memories of my lifetime include my grandma as a part of them. As a child I was blessed to have her live so close so that I was able to spend so much time with her and my grandpa. I loved having sleepovers at their house and went as often as I could. I absolutely loved being with them. Almost every holiday of my life I have spent with my grandma. It will be so different to not have her as part of them anymore, but I know she will always be remembered at them.

My grandma is so amazing. She suffered a stroke right after Ben and I were married and has been unable to speak well since then. It has been such a challenge for her, because like me, my grandma was blessed with the gift of gab. When I tell my kids how much she used to be the life of the party they have a hard time imagining it because she's been so quiet with them. I have loved our talks throughout the years, even when it was hard for her. She has always had such wonderful advice and genuine concern for the things I was going through. I have always, always wanted to do what is right to make her proud. In the last few years she has suffered from horrible migraines and the aches and pains of growing old. She never would complain unless you asked her how she really felt. She always had a smile even when she was feeling miserable. She's always had spunk and always seemed so young and vibrant to me. She also had a way of just making you know that you were so deeply loved and always was so kind to everyone. She has always lived a Christ-like life of service and love and has shared her testimony with so many. My grandma has always been one of my favorite people, biggest supporter, strongest example, and greatest hero. I will truly miss her.

I am so thankful that in the last week we were given the opportunity to spend some time with her and say goodbye. Last Sunday night we were able to visit her at a rehab center that she has been at for the last month to try and regain her strength. She still had that sparkle in her eyes that I have always loved. She still managed that amazing smile of hers. She was still able to make us feel welcomed and loved even though she was not doing well. I am so thankful that we were able to visit her then and tell her just how much we love her. I am thankful that my children were also given that opportunity. What a blessing it is for them to have had their great-grandma as a part of their lives.
All week long I felt this great desire to spend more time with my grandma but without being able to drive I wasn't able to go as I pleased. On Friday I finally knew I just needed to go and asked Ben to drop me off and then have my parents take me home later. By Friday night my sweet grandma had declined so much. For the first time in my entire life I thought of her as old. The sparkle in her eyes was gone and I knew she was so ready to leave this world. I held her hand, that sweet always soft hand, the entire time I was there and treasured every minute that I got to be with her that night. She kept talking about how she was ready to go home and I am so thankful that she was able to finally pass and return home. I can only imagine the reunion she is having right now with my wonderful grandpa, my great-grandma, my sister, my nephew, my Gabriel, and all the rest of our family that has already returned home.

As we sang the words to our last hymn, Lead Kindly Light, this morning at church I was reminded of that wonderful reunion that I will have with my grandma and so many others someday. It is a hymn that has really become one of my favorites in the last year. I am so thankful for the tender mercy that it was the chosen hymn today that brought such comfort to me, especially in the last verse...

The night is gone and with the morn those angel faces smile, which I have loved long since, and lost awhile.

My grandma's loss is so difficult, especially at this time, as we are approaching the year mark of our little Gabriel's loss (probably sometime this week) as well. I am so thankful for my knowledge of the plan of salvation to know that both of their losses are just for awhile, a little moment, and not forever and that I will see those angel faces smile again. I am so thankful for eternal families and that they are part of mine.

Another tender mercy today was our intermediate hymn, Love One Another. The very first time I heard that hymn was when I was on a trip with my mom and Grandma to visit my cousins in San Diego when I was about 4 years old. Every time I hear that song, I think of that trip and my grandma who truly knew how to follow Christ's example of love. It was just perfect to sing it today.

I love you so very much Grandma!! Thank you for always loving me.