The Dragonfly

I've had a few people ask me about the whole dragonfly/baby loss thing. I've been trying to find the perfect description that I read that explains the significance of dragonflies and butterflies with baby loss. I can't. I know it does have something to do with some old legends that they signify the freeing of the spirit from the body and their ability to fly and do anything now. Many baby loss mommas think that when they see a dragonfly or butterfly it is a sign from their lost babies, showing them that they are okay.

Now, I'm not really a believer in all of those "signs" and things. I know Gabriel, at times, is near but when I see a dragonfly, I don't think that it's Gabriel there to see me. I certainly know that my son is not a dragonfly. But one of the hardest things about losing a baby is that you don't have those tangible things to remind you of them. You don't have many pictures...the ones I have aren't great. You don't have clothes they've worn or many things they've touched. This is even more compounded for those that haven't had the chance to see or hold their babies in their arms. These tangible things that can represent your lost child can bring some comfort when you need to remember them.

I've actually always thought both dragonflies and butterflies were beautiful, but dragonflies have always been my favorite. They are just fascinating. When I heard about the significance of them, I couldn't help but think of Gabriel when I saw dragonflies. I also like that dragonflies aren't quite as common as butterflies, so we have to look for them. When we see one now, the kids always point it out. I've gotten a few dragonfly items (and actually already had some before) and the kids always call them Gabe's dragonflies. It's helped them to have something tangible to remember him by.

I do know of this amazing story about dragonflies and I wanted to share it.

The Dragonfly

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!

I love this story and its symbolism. I know that my Gabriel is alive more now than ever before. I can only imagine the wonders he gets to see. He is where he is supposed to be and I'm sure he's busy making a difference in so many lives. I know he's made a difference in mine and I'm so glad to be his mother. I can't wait for that day when we meet again, and he can show me all of the truly glorious things he's already seen.

I love you baby boy....so very, very much!

“Even though our journey may be fraught with tribulation, the destination is truly glorious.”

—Elder Quentin L. Cook