Today is one of those January birthdays. Today is my angel sister, Mary Gwen's, birthday. Mary Gwen is the third oldest in my family. My mom carried her full term but she was stillborn upon delivery. Even though I came along 4 kids later, I've always had a special bond with Mary Gwen. I am told that I always talked about her when I was young and I insisted that my family celebrate her birthday every year with a party! I think we must have been pretty close up there in heaven and I've always felt such a great loss of not having her here with me in our earthly life. I have so many what-ifs in my mind if she had been there.
This last summer, one of my friends had a baby that only lived for 15 minutes. From the moment I met my friend, she had told me she wanted another baby and I felt so badly when that was taken away from her. My heart has ached so much for my friend as I've seen her struggle with the death of her sweet baby. Since then I have been thinking about Mary Gwen a lot more than I have in many years. I've also thought about my parents a lot and the fact that they had to deal with such a loss as a baby girl that they had wished for, planned for, and then never got to take home. My parents didn't even ever get to see her and I know this has always been difficult for them. I guess I've never really realized just how absolutely painful it must have been for them. It is totally different now to view that with my eyes as a mother and I'm thankful for this new insight and understanding.
I am so thankful for the plan of salvation and the knowledge I have of it. I know that I will get to see my amazing sister again. I know that we'll be able to celebrate that she got to come to Earth and perform the little mission that she was supposed to so she could quickly get back to our Heavenly Father. I'm so excited to get to know her again. For now, I've decided to remember to remember her more often, starting with the celebrating of her birthday just like I used to insist upon doing. The kids were totally on board with the excuse to go get some ice cream at Coldstone. Hooray for birthdays! Happy Birthday Mary Gwen!!
5 comments:
I'm so glad to know that you think of Mary Gwen as a sister and that she is part of your life. I know she is your sister, but a lot of people including her oldest siblings don't consider Sarah their sibling. It is wonderful for me to know that you do. How wonderful your reunion will be. Emily never leaves Sarah out of her conversations. You can tell she thinks of her as her sister. I am so grateful for the plan of salvation too. Some days it doesn't help much, but an eternal persective does bring peace at times and I'm sure time will help with that. Your post just warmed my heart and brought tears of joy and happiness for your special love for your sister. I hope Sarah will be as loved by her siblings. I just love you Cyndi. Happy birthday Mary Gwen!!!
What a sweet post. It must have been so hard for your parents to not even get to see Mary Gwen. I only have miscarriages to compare these types of losses to. Mine were hard. But these must be so much harder. I'm so thankful for the plan of happiness that allows us to know that we will all see Sarah and Mary Gwen again. I can't just imagine them up there together looking down and watching over you and Mindy.
happy birthday to your angel sister. I am sure she has been by your side your WHOLE life. She will always be your guardian angel and your kids angel as well.
I KNOW Anika plays with her big brother and he protects her.
Thank goodness for the gospel to KNOW we will be able to be with these siblings or even children again.
Thanks for this post!!
this is such a sweet post. It's neat to know that you will be able to be with her again and do all the sister stuff...I bet you guys were close, and I'm glad you celebrate her birthday.
Okay, I'm a mess over here. So so sweet. And I just love her name.
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