Hiking to the G

Later in the afternoon of October 15th we decided to finally get in our hike to the G. We had meant to go on Gabe's birthday but that was when I could barely walk so we had to put it off....and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rembrance Day seemed like the perfect day to finally get up to that G that reminds us of our little Gabriel.
Our friends, the Coxs (minus Heidi) joined us and we started on the trail. The crazy trail started out super steep and kept on almost the entire time and there weren't many chances to stop for a break along the way because the trail was so narrow and steep. I was DYING! Hiking a mountain after 3 months of basically barely even walking is hard! We couldn't see the G for most of it so we almost wondered if we were on the right trail. I was about to be really mad if we were on the wrong one! But it was there....Gabriel's G.As insane as the hike was, it was also afforded some amazing views of the lake and the valley below.
We made it! We made it!
Thanks to the Coxs who kept our brood in line and were patient with my slowness!








We stayed for awhile and watched as an amazingly beautiful sunset turned into one of the most stunning I've ever seen.After we got our sunset fill (Do I ever? I love the sunsets!) we headed down the mountain...in the dark!! I was so thankful we made it home safely!
I am so glad we got to finally hike up to Gabriel's G....and especially that we did it on a special day that we had set aside to remember him. It was awesome!!

Walk for Rembrance and Hope

On October 15 for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day we went up to SLC for the Share Walk for Remembrance and Hope at Larkin Sunset Lawn. It was a beautiful day....yet hard to see so many people there that were missing their babies.


We ordered shirts for the whole family with Gabriel's name on them. When I told the kids that they were making shirts with the babies' names they all really wanted one. The shirts were so sweet & totally reminded me of my friend, Ashley's baby, Kingston, whose name is right there on it...and whose symbol is a snowflake.
"Each new life, no matter how fragile or brief, forever changes the world."
The main speaker was Mrs. Utah 2011, Tiffany Alleman. Her platform is Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, and the Gift of Motherhood. She has struggled with infertility and has had 5 miscarriages and only has two living children. I really loved everything she said. My favorite thing she said that I wish so many people would remember, " We don't move on as if something didn't happen because something did and someone did."

I had the chance to go up and talk with her afterwards and thank her. The girls and I got to get a pic taken....Skylar loves any chance to get a pic with royalty.

There was a short walk around the cemetery and then it was time to release balloons. We had brought our own because we're newbies and didn't know they had them already. I love that we did though because it was so fun to release so many.

The kids all got to send a little message to Gabriel on their balloons.

Then they read the names of each baby and the families sent their balloons towards heaven for them...it was beautiful!I'm so glad we went. I'm so thankful for all of the organizers that made this walk possible as a way to remember our precious babies. It was good to see some of my friends that I would've never known without our angel babies bringing us together....truly amazing women that I love. Often I feel as if no one really remembers our little Gabriel anymore...and days like this remind me that even if that's true, at least we remember...because he is very, very loved by all of us.

We love you precious baby boy! We hope you liked your balloons!! XOXOXO

Beautiful Heartbreak

Today I was driving down the street alone and looked up at the G on the mountain....Gabe's G...and of course I thought of my baby boy. In that moment, I realized that I wasn't sad. I was thankful and happy. I'm so thankful for every single moment that I got to hold my baby boy in my body and then in my arms....and for the knowledge that someday I'll hold him in my arms again. I was happy because I get to be his mother and every single ounce of pain in missing him is worth it. Worth it, because it's also a beautiful thing.

Then I saw this....

....and it expressed exactly how I was feeling today.

I love you baby boy. Thank you for choosing me to be your momma and for helping me to see just how beautiful this all is.

Surviving September Soccer

Somehow we did it....we survived the September soccer schedule! It was crazy! We had Skylar, Nick, & Kade all enrolled in soccer this year and that meant 3 practices and 6 games a week! Not to mention, that with Skylar's dance and me being in YW, we were running back and forth, all over, and going insane. The kids had a blast and I guess the craziness was all worth it! Their jersey numbers...5, 6, 5.This was Skylar's first year and she did so well, especially since she was out there with girls that have been in soccer for years. She really had a great time and was so excited to be on a team with her buddies, Mara & Nadia. With our crazy schedule I didn't get to see Skylar play that much, but she was always right in the game when I saw her. Go Sky!!








Nick loves soccer! He's not one of the aggressive players but he's always great at kicking the ball. He loved that his team had so many of his buddies on it....Oliver, Caden, Ryan, Carsen, & Owen!
Look how cute these three are....3, 4, 5!








Alright Nicky Duncan!!








Kade totally found his thing...soccer! He was all over the ball and definitely not afraid to get into the action. He also rocked at getting goals! I think he made 13 throughout the season! Woot Woot Kade!!








Of course I only caught one on film....
Kade loved having his buddy, Preston, on his team! Another bonus for Kade...Ben got to be his coach! Ben helped out with all of the kids' teams to an extent, but he was an official coach on Kade's which was way cool for him. Way to go Dad!!








Can I tell you how relieved I was when soccer was finished? I love having my kids involved and love going to watch them, but having all three of them in soccer was madness! I don't think we'll be doing that again...at least until May.

Our Rockin' 10 Year Old!

Here we are with our 10 year old! 10 years!! Wow!! I still can't believe it!We celebrated Skylar's birthday as a family by going out to eat at Olive Garden and then opening presents. She got an alarm clock to go with her MP3 player so that she can now wake up to her music....and make us listen to her music! Seriously, we have a tween on our hands!!

So our little rockstar wanted nothing less than a rockstar birthday party! Ben made some pretty awesome invites for the party.....

The day after her birthday was her party. Skylar loved her 8th birthday party, but the thing she didn't like about it was that she couldn't invite boys, so of course plenty of boys were invited to this one, along with all of her girl friends. There were 20 kids at the party! Wowza!!

We started off the party with pizza and then we played freeze dance limbo. It was hilarious to watch!

Skylar had such a blast!!
Then we headed inside and the kids made rockstar bracelets.








Then we broke out the Rockband and took turns rockin' out.

The kids also danced the night away playing Just Dance. This game is so fun to watch! Those kids could shake it!

We opened presents and cracked open a pinata!

Then it was time for cake & ice cream. Skylar requested me to make ice cream cake & she also wanted it to be made to look like some kind of instrument....so I made the drums from Rockband...can you tell?

Skylar and her friends kept partying well into the night. I think she really, really loved her Rockstar party!!

This picture is just cool. These three boys, Donovan, Parker, & Jayme were Skylar's very first friends from the moment she was born. 10 year later they still are! We have so many memories of this past decade that include this group of kids!

Sweet Sky, I can't believe how quickly you grew up. You are becomming an amazing young lady (gasp!) and always have taught me the most important lesson...just to simply love life! I am so lucky to have you as my daughter!! Love you, love you, love you!!