For my birthday last year my brother gave me a set of talks on CD by Michael Wilcox. I listen to them whenever I'm able to. They've actually helped me in answering some of the great questions of the gospel I've had when going through the trials I have in the last year. One, in particular, is called the Fourth Watch, and I've listened to it so many times that if it was a record, it would be worn thin by now. Michael Wilcox talks about the Savior and how often times when we're going through trials, He is there, He's always there, but He isn't able to step in until we've gone through some of those trials first....sometimes making us wait until the second watch, the third, the fourth...and even beyond...before He can step in and help calm the storm. We wonder why He's not helping us when we are pleading for help and hoping our trials will cease. We often figure that 1-He's not listening, 2-He doesn't care, or 3- We're not worthy of His help. I know that I've felt all of these the last few years many times. I've wondered how much He thinks I'm capable of and why He would continue to give me trials that seem more than I think I am able to bear. The answer to all of this is that He knows me better than I even know myself. He knows I can handle all that I am given. If I couldn't, He would have come during the very first watch. He knows that my ship is tight like a dish.
When the Brother of Jared was preparing to come to the Promised Land he was confronted with how to get his people there while tossing along on the mountainous ocean waves. He was instructed by the Lord to make the ships tight like a dish. Heavenly Father knew what they would face. He could have calmed the waves, He could have calmed the storms that would come, but instead He helped to prepare them for what was coming. Their ships were tight like a dish...and they made it through. I can't help but feel that all of the experiences of my life and the building of my testimony have made it possible for me to get through the storms of the last few years.
Michael Wilcox said, " Even the most negative situations God can turn into good for us if we trust Him." I think I'm finally learning that. I trust Him and I trust that he knows what is best for me, even when it seems unfair or it's incredibly painful. I trust that He has helped me to be strong enough to get through all of the storms that will come my way. I trust that everything will happen as it is supposed to be and that good will come from all of this. The blessings from these trials will be great joys someday and they are so worthy of my patience during the storms.
The last week we've been faced with yet another trial and major disappointment. I'm not ready to share it and I don't know if I will, plus I'm really trying not to complain and instead look for the blessings in my trials. I've waivered back and forth in how I feel about being given one more thing when I feel that I'm at my limit. There are times that I've wondered about those 3 things above, but actually it hasn't been often. I've actually, more than anything, felt at peace. I don't understand why my Savior has left me feeling like I'm in the tenth watch wondering when He will come and calm the storm, but I do know that He's there. He understands more than anyone and He's given me the peace I needed. I know that I can trust Him because He trusts me and knows that my ship is tight like a dish. He knows my testimony of His gospel, His goodness, and His love is strong. I know He's listening. I know He cares. I know that I'm worthy of His blessings. I know that His plan is a good plan and that He has great things in store for our family, whether they happen now or later. I am so entirely thankful for that.
1 comment:
You have come so far. I have been praying for you.
Post a Comment