Gabriel Bear

I thought a long time about how we could make Gabriel's birthday special for our kids. They all love and miss their brother a lot and want him to be a part of our lives. They're the main reason that we planned a party in the first place when they started inviting friends to come to Gabe's party before we had even thought of having one. We've celebrated my sister, Mary Gwen's birthday in the past so I think they just figured we'd totally celebrate Gabe's birthday too. We always will but probably not on the scale of his first birthday party, but I'm glad that we did it the way that we did so that our kids could really celebrate the baby brother they love so much.

I still wanted to do something special especially for my kids on Gabe's birthday. We have a tradition in our family that started way back before we even had kids but had been trying for almost a year and a half to have Skylar (infertility majorly sucks, by the way). I went on a trip for my Elementary Ed. program to Denver to see a school there with a great multi-cultural program. While we were there we saw this awesome new store, Build-a-Bear. My friends all started making bears for their kids at home and I was aching that I didn't have a baby to take one home to. My friend encouraged me to just take my chances and make one for the future baby I was sure to have someday. So I did....and two months later our little baby girl was finally on her way. Her very first thing was that Build-a-Bear that I made for her when she was just a great wish yet to be granted. With that, the tradition began. Before each of our children have been born their siblings have gone to Build-a-Bear and picked out the perfect animal to stuff, dress, & then bring to the hospital when they got to meet their new brother or sister. I have loved watching each time as those animals were picked out with so much love and anticipation for the new baby and it's always brought tears to my eyes when the kids show up at the hospital and shove it into our newborn's faces showing them just how loved they already were before they were even here.

Gabriel's birth was obviously different. Our kids didn't ever have a chance to pick out an animal for their new brother. They never had the chance to run into the hospital room excited to meet him and share their gift with them. They never even got to see him or hold him. I've ached for them because I know they have all struggled with this, one more so than the others. I've ached that they didn't get one moment with their baby brother in their arms.

A few days before Gabe's birthday I was thinking about how I could help fill my own childrens' aching arms and I thought about the Build-a-Bear tradition that we'd always had and knew that it was time to get Gabe's bear. Even if he will never be able to cuddle with that bear here on earth, his sisters and brothers would finally have the chance to make one for him and it could be a gift for all of them to treasure and to cuddle when they couldn't cuddle with him. When we told the kids that we were finally going to make Gabe's bear they were all so excited!!

So on Gabe's birthday we went to the store and looked over the different animals and within a few seconds the kids had picked the perfect bear for Gabe. It was a Greenzy Panda bear and it was "Gabe's color", light green. They all agreed that it was just right. What made it even better was that it was a pay it forward bear because the purchase of the bear included the proceeds going to the Arbor Day Foundation and we were also able to have a tree planted in Gabriel's name. It was the perfect thing for the kids to do to provide some kind of service in honor of their brother.The kids got to stuff the bear:Pick out a heart with and make a wish to put in the bear:They each got a limb to hold:Then they washed the bear:They decided he was just perfect the way he was without any clothes so after naming him Gabriel Bear he was ready to take home:The kids have loved having Gabriel Bear. They always give it big squeezes and hope that Gabriel can feel how much he's loved by each of them. Alexis and Kade switch off sleeping with Gabriel Bear every single night. He sure is loved around here...just like our little Gabriel is.