Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness

It's October, a time for remembering. This week is pretty significant to a few special people in my life who are remembering. Today, I've been remembering, as it was just two months ago tonight that my baby boy, Gabriel, was born. This month, as Nick Jr. keeps reminding my kiddos, is Hispanic Heritage Month and its also Breast Cancer Awareness month. But I don't think most people know that October is also Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month.

Today I went to the store with my kids. Everywhere, everywhere, I saw that pink ribbon that represents Breast Cancer Awareness month. It was on yogurt, cereal, medicine, paper towels, etc., etc., etc. I saw it on at least three cars driving home. I mean, it's everywhere, which is great! It is wonderful that it is something that is being put out there so that others are aware of it and trying to help in early detection and finding a cure. I fully support it and went out of my way to buy the things that were labeled with a pink ribbon. My family actually has a history of breast cancer. My great-grandma had it and just last year, my sweet aunt fought it and survived. We have kept my aunt in our daily prayers hoping that she will remain free of it. It's a horrible disease. The statistics are that 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Of those, the majority will survive.

Pregnancy & infant loss statistics are a bit more staggering. 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in loss. 1 in 4 of all babies don't survive. The parents of those babies, like me, are left with the greatest grief they could ever experience having. For many, it is difficult every day for the rest of their lives. One of the hardest things, as I've learned, is that no one talks about it and if they are able to say something, it's a quick ' I'm sorry', and on to the next subject, which is okay because at least they are saying something. It is somewhat taboo to talk about dead babies. It's something that parents are almost expected to just get through and get over and to just not talk about anymore. I know for me, that this has left me feeling utterly and absolutely alone. I actually want to talk about my baby. He's my son. I love him and I miss him desperately. I am always thinking about him, so talking about him is actually good for me. It doesn't hurt me anymore than I'm already hurting to talk about him. That's why I blog about him.

I ran across this quote in a book I was reading on pregnancy loss:

"We can share our joy with anyone. But we are lucky to have one person in our whole lifetime with whom we can share our misery."

I am so thankful that I have not just one, but a few friends, that will share in my misery of the loss of our baby. I am so thankful for the people who will talk to me about him, especially when they refer to him by his name, Gabriel. It makes me know that they really, really care about me. Thank you to all of you who remember.

This Friday, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I'm not sure what we're going to do for it, but we want to do something to honor our sweet baby Gabriel, who was only in our earthly lives for a short time, but has left such an impression in our hearts forever. For all of my friends reading this that have lost their own babies, I will be remembering your babies too. I'm so very sorry you have to have this pain. Maybe everyone could take a few minutes on that day to remember these precious little ones, gone much too soon.