Saying goodbye to Reese

I never posted this, but decided that now, on the eve of Reese's due date, I would. Oh how we miss our little baby boy.


One of the blessings of Reese's birth was that we had his teeny tiny perfect body, which wouldn't have been possible had I had a D&C like we had planned. We decided that our family needed the closure we didn't get when we decided not to bury Gabriel and we decided to bury little Reese. We thought it might be unusual to do so, since he was born at just 13 weeks, but as we met with a few cemeteries trying to decide where the perfect place was, we were told that this is becoming more common as families are burying even the tiniest of babies because of the closure it provides the grieving families. We prayed about where would be the best place for Reese to be laid to rest. We really loved Provo Cemetery's Baby Land, where so many sweet miscarried and stillborn babies are buried all next to each other with a beautiful angel statue looking over the tiny graves, but we decided that the best place for us would be Orem Cemetery, since it is close to our home. We found the most beautiful spot that the kids all love and I know we were guided to bury him where we did. We felt so good about making this decision for our family.

We wrapped Reese in a blanket made from material that the kids had actually picked out for the blankets that some of my baby loss mom friends had made to donate to the hospital. We then placed his little body in this beautiful box, which has had a special meaning to us. Every year for Christmas, we have the tradition of acting out the Nativity. Each year, this box has been represented as one of the gifts given to the Savior by the Wisemen. Reese was due at Christmas time and how we longed to have him here this year to be part of the Nativity. My extended family had already talked about how precious it would be to have a live baby this year.  Instead, our little Reese has returned to our Savior. He was our gift for those 13 precious weeks and now he has returned to be a gift for Christ himself. This box just seemed like the perfect tiny coffin for our sweet boy.

Of course, to bury Reese, we needed to buy a bigger coffin. While it was still tiny, it had so much room in it because of how little he was. We decided to add a few things to it. All of the kids drew pictures and wrote notes for their baby brother. They had prayed and wanted this baby of ours so badly and this was a great gift they could send with him. Skylar was having a very, very difficult time with this and didn't want to be photographed. 

Since we didn't bury Gabriel, we decided that we would dedicate the grave to both Gabriel and Reese. We put in both of their ultrasound pictures.

We also let the kids pick out some teddy bears to place in the coffin.

My six babies....

All of us....

McKade and Alexis placed Reese's tiny coffin into the larger coffin. They took such great care of their beloved baby brother's coffin. The other items were added, we sealed the coffin, said a family prayer, and headed to the cemetery to bury our baby boy.

We had a small graveside service. It was only our family and our bishop, who was so loving and supportive of us burying little Reese. He knew that our entire family needed the closure that would come from laying our sweet baby to rest.

Nickolas, McKade, and I each took turns reading this beautiful version of I am a Child of God....

I am a child of God and He has called me home.
My earthly journey's through but still, I do not walk alone.
He leads me, guides me, walks beside me, helps me find the way.
He welcomed me with open arms. I live with Him today.

I am a child of God and I have gone ahead.
My earthly life was brief but oh, such peace and love you gave.
You loved me, held me, stood beside me and though I cannot stay.
You gave me much to help me and I live with Him today.

I am a child of God and I will wait for you.
Celestial glory shall be ours, if you can but endure.
I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you.
Help you find the way.
I'll welcome you with open arms
One bright Celestial day.

Ben said an amazing dedicatory prayer and dedicated the grave as a place where we could go to remember both our precious baby boys, Gabriel and Reese. Then we said goodbye.

Although we had to pay for burial costs, we were blessed to have a monument company, Memorial Art Monument, that volunteered to donate a gravestone for our babies. This is one of the greatest and most selfless gifts I've ever received. They were able to put both Gabriel's and Reese's names on it. We also put their symbols on....a dragonfly for Gabriel and a butterfly for Reese.

   The kids helped us to pick the design and were very excited for the day that the marker would be placed. We went a few times a week to check. Just a few weeks after Reese was buried, the monument company called Ben and told him it had been placed. We didn't tell the kids and just headed to the cemetery to see it. Their reactions were priceless as they all ran to the gravesite to see their baby brothers' gravestone.

We are so blessed to have this beautiful resting place for our little Reese and it has also been wonderful to feel we have a place dedicated to Gabriel's memory too. It has been a very peaceful and  perfect place to remember our sweet boys....too beautiful for earth....whom we love and miss so much.