Gabriel Day 2012

Today, January 7th, was the day that Gabriel was due last year. It's a date that we'll always associate with Gabriel....and we'll always wish he was here to celebrate his birthday with us...instead of having to just remember him on this day instead. I've learned that this day...and the weeks leading up to this day...are much harder for me than his birthday is. I guess it's because this was the time that we were expecting him to be with us. So it's been a very difficult day (week and month) for me. But, like any other day that we remember little Gabe, we tried to make it good.

The only gift I can give my precious baby boy is to serve someone else and hope that he knows I'm doing it in his honor. Every time I've had a baby I grow my hair out while I'm pregnant and then donate it to Locks of Love. It tends to grow much faster when I'm pregnant and about the time that my new babies start to grab it, it's the perfect length to chop off and donate. After Gabriel died, I went ahead and chopped my hair. Growing it out is really a huge pain and I figured it wasn't worth it if I wasn't getting a baby in my arms from it. I've always felt bad that Gabriel didn't get his Locks of Love donation. So, I decided to grow it back out. I've been tempted so many times to cut it, but I'm glad I endured through the stages of ugh and awkward hair so that it was finally long enough to donate. Today, in honor of his due date, and in his memory, that's just what I did. Here's my 10 inches of hair:I think they may make me stop doing this because of all the grays in it!! No kid wants a wig made of gray hair! But for now, it's mostly brown and I hope is put to good use.

So, I know EVERYONE wants a before and after picture, but I need to add that I am super sick today with a head cold and all of the before pics look like I am drunk, so there are definitely no after pictures. But believe me, it's short!

Later on, right before it got too dark, we wrote notes to Gabriel and did a balloon launch. I've always kind of been against these because of the environmental impact, but since we've been doing it for Gabe, I've changed my mind. There's not much we can do to remember him or to send our love to him, and "sending balloons to heaven" somehow helps to fill that need. It's so beautiful to watch them float away and to have some way to show our love to Gabriel. I hope he somehow gets to be there to watch all those balloons sent to him with love. As we were getting ready to send our balloons off, McKade decided that the official name for January 7th needs to be "Gabriel Day". I think it's the perfect name for a day that means a lot to our family.We decided to use one of our gift certificates from Christmas to go out to dinner but everywhere had an hour wait and with Alexis (who has strep) and I not feeling well, we stopped in at Noodles and Co. instead. It was fun to have a family night out in honor of our little Gabriel.Later on, my sweet husband and precious kids surprised me with a new necklace, with a forget me not on it, to remember Gabe. It's beautiful and I absolutely love it!We'll always remember little Gabe on "Gabriel Day." Thank you to those that thought of him and remembered him with us today. That is truly the best gift you can give us.

We miss you sweet baby boy in heaven. We wish you were here celebrating your first birthday, instead of us sending your balloons to heaven, but we are so thankful that you are part of our forever family. We love you more than there are words. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO (the kids insisted on a ton of those for your balloons!)