GratiTuesday: Spiritually: I smile

I've been in such a rut lately. I've totally felt like this:

 

Except I'd switch the spiritually and physically around, because physically, I'm pretty banged up, which is making it hard to smile and I do kind of feel like death....although I'm sure death doesn't ache so bad. Haha.

Spiritually, although I feel at a loss of what I'm supposed to do with my life right now, I am thankful that I can still find a reason to smile (even if it's hard!) because I know who I am and I know God's plan....his eternal plan. I know the things that I am supposed to do to please Him and I'm trying my hardest to do those things. That's what keeps me going, knowing that even if I feel like the above in all other ways, my Heavenly Father knows what is right for me and my Savior knows exactly how I feel. Even if I don't have the things I desperately want right now, I know I have better things waiting for me and I'm praying every single minute for the patience to endure well enough to get those things....even if I have to wait a lifetime....I know they're coming. I guess, that's reason enough to be extremely thankful and I am. It's a true blessing to know who you are and to know there's a plan. I am grateful every single moment for that knowledge...and gratitude always seems to help me in my ruts. I'm thankful to have GratiTuesdays back.

Sticking Around

Well, I guess I'm sticking around. Thank you to those of you that left comments to let me know that you're still here. I'm thankful for the dear friend that reminded me I wouldn't even know her without my blog, I'm thankful for the friend that found comfort during her own miscarriage that she felt she couldn't share about, I'm thankful for the friend who I haven't seen in years that wants to know what my crazy old family is up to, I'm thankful for the friends that said their testimonies were strengthened by my faith in my trials, I'm thankful for the friend who has completely different trials than I do but was helped because I shared my own, I'm thankful for the friends that said I was amazing for being brave enough to share, especially when I really don't feel that way at all, I'm thankful for the friend who found courage to share her feelings on her own heartaches on her blog, hoping that she could help another too, and I'm very thankful for the strangers that commented....the ones that had found comfort and encouragement in their own heartaches....without ever having met me. I guess if I can help one person to get through losing a baby, to know that they are not alone, or to give them hope through their heartache, then this blog is worth something. Because, the truth is, I'm doing it. I'm surviving. This is the worst nightmare ever, but somehow I'm doing it. I've survived 2 1/2 years without my little Gabriel and 9 months without my Reese. Although some days seem absolutely hopeless that I'll ever feel the happiness in this life that I once did, I know that I will make it, and that one day I will have all my babies in my arms and it will be nothing short of amazing!